Community
On Monday I attended the funeral of Pete Kruyer at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Cary. Pete and his family were active members of Emmanuel for some 20 years. While his more important leadership roles were as a member of the vestry and the treasurer, for me, his most important role was as a member of the Red Door Ringers handbell ensemble. In all of his cool and humor as an adult, he was a former marching band nerd, who as a student at Wake Forest would sneak a flask under his marching band cap. Naturally, ringing handbells was certainly true to form. These details were included in Pete’s obituary, artfully composed by his son, Sam, which instead of listing accolades and professional achievements, detailed the life of a beautiful man. It is perhaps the most touching, and best, obituary I have ever read, if such an acknowledgement is merited. It was the reading of Pete’s obituary that Rev. Meaghan Kelly Brower began her homily. As members of the Red Door Ringers, past and present, as well as many members of Emmanuel, past and present, gathered at St. Paul’s, we grieved for our friend, heard words of comfort from our sacred texts, meditated on the expression of love offered by Rev. Meaghan, and lifted our voices in hymns of faith.
After the service, I had a chance to visit with the Kruyers, with Rev. Meaghan, and with parishioners. We enjoyed a reception hosted by the ladies of St. Paul’s, as well as a featured chocolate cake that had been Pete’s favorite. I ate two pieces. On the drive home, and in the days that have followed, I realized that in some way, for a brief moment, I was transported back in time to another era of Emmanuel. The children that were in my first St. Cecilia Choir are now graduating from college. The youth that were in my handbell choir are now adults doing amazing things as scientists, kinesiologists, leaders in the field of non-profits, teachers, and medical doctors. They are doing great work in New York City, in major cities in the Southeast, and in the Rocky Mountains. I keep asking myself, how did this all happen? Didn’t I just start here?
The Red Door Ringers, at least in my time with them, has always been a unique and fun group of people. Membership requires commitment, some skill, a good deal of humility, a bit of grit and determination, a willingness to work with others, and an ability to laugh at your own mistakes. When a piece of music goes well, the reward is a joyful one. When a performance goes sideways, it is a reminder of our individual humanity and imperfections.
As the director, I work to select music that is appropriate for a given season and look for music that provides a bit of challenge for a seasoned ringer but doesn’t go beyond the possibility of someone with less experience. In rehearsal I tend to be largely focused on the mechanics of the music, giving attention to hundreds of details, and thinking about what I can say and do to guide the ringers to give the best result. There are social gatherings during the year and for a period the Red Door Ringers attended the yearly Christmas concerts given by the internationally famous Raleigh Ringers.
Last year, at the suggestion of a colleague, I took members of the Red Door Ringers to Lutheridge for a weekend handbell retreat with clinician David Harris, director of the Raleigh Ringers. This March, nine members of our ensemble will return to Arden for a similar experience. It was en route to the retreat last year that I was reminded again of the importance of the community aspect of what we do together. Miss Gessner, as she’s affectionately known with the students of Episcopal Day School, and I had worked together in various capacities since I arrived in 2010, either with music for EDS Chapel or as her accompanist in the yearly Christmas program she directs for the school. After a trip to Costa Rica, in which several Red Door Ringer members were also involved, she was persuaded to join the handbell ensemble. Even so, in all those years together, our relationship was mostly professional. A last-minute illness by a fellow ringer left Lisa without a ride to the mountains for our retreat. While I had planned to leave earlier in the day to get the handbells set up in time for the evening performance, I told Lisa I’d stay until she was finished with teaching, and that she could ride with me. She agreed and in the 3 ½ hour drive, she and I talked and laughed and then talked and laughed some more. I believe that we learned more about each other in those 3 ½ hours than what we had known about each other in the past 14 years. Our friendship deepened and we and the other ringers spent a great weekend making music together, refining our ringing skills together, and worshipping together at Lutheridge.
I’ve been reflecting on all these things this week, reaffirming and remembering, and reminding myself, that it is the community that we build together that is the most important work we do. In serving six years with Fr. John Talk, there was one message that he repeatedly expressed, and that is this, that God created us to be in community together. We were created to love and serve one another and with each other. When I think back on my years directing the Red Door Ringers, I don’t think about the individual pieces of music we offered, I think about the community of brothers and sisters in Christ that we formed together. I think about the One Direction jokes or the giggles that come from calling out certain measure numbers. I think about the stories we share with each other, the prayers we offer for one another, and the beverages, pizza, and fellowship that is shared following rehearsal. I think about the members who made handbell ringing a weekly family activity and I think about the celebrations we have had for graduations and birthdays. I think about the music we have commissioned in memory Tucky, or in honor of the Kruyers, or in celebration of 40 years of handbell ministry. Mostly, I think about how the people that are members of the fraternity known as the Red Door Ringers, have made my life a better one. All of that has been possible because of this place called Emmanuel. All of that has been possible because of an Episcopal church located in Southern Pines. All of that has been possible because we all have decided to walk in faith and in love together. So this Sunday, as we respond, “Thanks be to God,” I’ll be thinking not only of that moment in the liturgy, but also of my friend Pete, the musicians past and present of the Red Door Ringers, and the reality that God called us all together. Sure, it happened in this place, but even as distance and time have separated some of us, the community that God knit together for us remains.
Dr. Homer A. Ferguson III
Organist/Choirmaster